How does one simply fall into a depressive state and keep coming back to it when they used to be so happy and content with life and most of the people with which one was surrounded? Now it's as if this one doesn't care about those people, which isn't true, not one bit. But feeling this way translates to those important people that one no longer cares about them. But the thing is one tries desperately to hang on to hope and be fished out of the depression hole. ...but hanging on to the rare minute of motivation is as easy as hanging on to a rope about to break 400 metres above the ocean's angry waters.
The thing is, I experience way too much worry, sadness, and senseless obsession in my life. For a young adult female of 20 years, this causes me worry. ...or additional worry, in technical terms. Counting blessings is something I try with desperation, but unfortunately, I often have the negatives outweigh the positives. As a result, poor little me slips back into a hole and waits for something good. Nothing can be more depressing than w a i t i n g. One never knows when life will end. So why wait? There is rarely a good reason. But to act now one need muster some energy. Some motivation. Something to keep them going. Even that tiny bit that helps them finish a shit day. Often I lack that energy. Well, nothing else but hang on to hope some might say. There is, after all, always hope. Isn't there?
